Making sense

Hey, hows life?

Hows life?
What are you doing these days?
Whats up?
Hows it going?

I come across this question very often these days. You go to a new place and old friends/acquaintances become old and when you meet them once in a while, both go 'Hows life?' 'Howre u?'. When I get these questions ( it could be in a conversation or a message/mail), I immidiately take a step back and try to look at my life in entirity and try to put it all in a few words and fail. Then I try to be a sport. I try to say something interesting. But, I often I end up shrugging and mumbling "aawww........nothing... so.... what's up with u?" and throwing the ball promptly into his/her court.

This question is probably meant as a conversation starter. When it is new acquaintances, there being no existing threads of conversation and both needing something to start talking about start " So, hows life...". That means I do not have a preference for a subject, you choose. Then it is left to the second guy to think of something. Generally one of the guys finds something to talk about and the conversation picks up. However, it is very painful when both parties are quiet people. Both parties go "Fine" then knit brows and nod heads trying to think of something.
Even good acquaintances/ friends are occassionally lost for things to talk about. Then too one goes "Whats up?" " Howre things?". Then take a deep breath, think of things interesting that would interest the other person too, and go on. Or say something and hope the other person finds something interesting about it.

After a certain amount of time in a new life, you stop noticing most of the things about it. So what would have struck you as intersting or wierd at first, dosnt do so anymore. For example, that MBA requires a degree of discipline that would seem stifling to a free spirited engineer is forgotten after a while when he asks u about ur life. Or that B-school has more girls who are also very approachable. And a hundred other things. And it requires the context to be laid out before one can talk about specifics like what you think about a particularly painful prof. So when you meet a friend from long ago or a brand new one with a different way of life, you face a virtual deadlock. It would take a long time to tell him/her about it ( bring him upto speed) since you have yourself lost the outsiders perspective and cannot identify things that he/she would find most striking, and explaining some interesting event would need laying out of some background about your life. Very awkward. One then settles for "umm......the usual stuff.... what's up with u?"

Now, "Hows life?" could in itself be a topic of conversation. I will start on it, the next time somebody asks the question.

posted by Rajesh @ 10:13 PM